Knowing my love for the shithole Newark Airport, Hubbin directed my attention to this frigging beauty:
NEWARK, N.J. (AP) — Passengers at New Jersey’s Newark Liberty International Airport will always get a smile from this customer service representative. Just don’t ask her to carry luggage.
That’s because she’s an avatar.
The Port Authority on Friday will unveil the computerized, hologram-like image named “Ava” in the international arrivals area in Terminal B. She’s programmed to answer passengers’ most frequently-asked questions.
The Port Authority is spending $180,000 to place the high-tech help at Newark, Kennedy and LaGuardia airports.
I am both disgusted and not at ALL surprised that Newark cannot find a SINGLE PERSON to smile at people. It isn’t at all surprising to me, or likely anyone else that has flown through the Armpit of America that the people of Newark are SO lacking in happiness that they have to BUILD A ROBOT just to smile at people.
In case any of you guys haven’t had the pleasure of flying through America’s Worst Airport (O’Hare you are an exceedingly close second though, watch your back), during my blissful 21 hour stay, I had to ask a TSA agent where to check-in (I had checked into my original flight online more than 24 hours before, but THAT flight was cancelled, and when I went to get on my newly booked flight, I “hadn’t checked in”, so I was scrambling to do so. This occurred at 5AM, hour 14 in the airport). I ask the TSA agent where to check in, and she looked at me, rolled her eyes, and said “I don’t know”.
Now, if you’ve BEEN to the Newark airport, you’ll know that there is NO WAY that she didn’t know. It’s not a large airport; I’ve been in H&Ms that were bigger. That was the moment I was pushed over the edge. I actually curled my fist at my side before realizing that punching a TSA agent would likely only make my already horrible trip worse. I asked someone at Hudson News, and they pointed me in the right direction. Where? A mere 15 feet from where the TSA agent was standing when I asked her.
So Newark, I suppose that if you really cannot find a single miserable person in all of New Jersey to pay to smile at people, then by all means, resort to this. It’s nice to know that if nothing else, Ava won’t be a total asshole to the people sleeping on the cold tile in your baggage claim when you cancel flights and close the terminals (OH YES, THEY DO THAT).
Too bad I won’t get to meet Ava, since I’ll sooner die before setting foot back into that awful state. Don’t listen to anyone that says that Jersey Shore isn’t representative of New Jersey, because it most certainly is representative of the experience I had. Please excuse the profanity in this post, but I assure you that I took at least 19 bad words out of this before I hit publish.