Right Now…

There are some posts I have coming in the pipeline, ones that aren’t done yet, ones about actual home improvement that are humorous, or about being lackadaisical in general, or, my favorite, Year Two of Bringing The Oldest One to Camp. Right now, though, I’ve had a rough couple of days. And it’s no secret that I strongly believe in God. I also believe that He speaks to me through songs. I joke that He controls my iPod shuffle. Yesterday morning, I had never heard this song before; as of the last 24 hours, it has “randomly” come on three times. The first time it came on, I was impatiently waiting on news. The second time it came on, I’d gotten the news, and it devastated me, I just didn’t understand. I didn’t understand how this could be His plan for me; it seemed so clear, the timing so perfect. I just sat and cried; from frustration, from sadness, in mourning of my own plans. And now, in the midst of a serious talk with Hubbin, it came on again. So I don’t know where you are, but in case you’re in that place, here it is:

I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own
I don’t know where to go from here

As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go

I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You

If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it

I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt, You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go

I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You

I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need

Big thanks to Sidewalk Prophets for writing this, for my husband for being honestly the best husband anyone could ask for, to my mother for keeping The Little One so Hubbin and I could have some time to just be together, and to my friends, who are there for me, no matter what, with the right words.