Category: God Stuff

I’m Here

I need to sit down and write, because it’s cathartic for me. There are so many words, wrought with exhaustion of so many kinds, though, that the thought of sitting down at the computer makes me want to scream.

These last few weeks have been hard. Really hard, in various different ways. I think this season is hard anyway, though I refuse to let it overcome me anymore. It hasn’t been the season itself that’s been hard, but that it’s been wrought with so much death and loss this year, and the reminder of my grandfathers death, which happened a year ago yesterday.

And our server crashed at work, which, unless you’ve been through that, you really cannot fathom the stress surrounding it. The last two weeks have been completely tied up with what/how/why and thirty people wanting updates, and understandably so. It’s just been draining; there’s been no time for anything, let alone Christmas cards. And as odd as it sounds, one of the things that always keeps me sane is listening to Christian radio…but all they are playing now is Christmas music, which I can’t stand. I found out more bad news before leaving work yesterday and it was the last I could take. And so, sitting alone in traffic, I realized there was no better time like the present to just let it out. And I did.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

And Then There Was Angela

There are times in life where you are forced to remember someone, and sometimes we have a tendency to romanticize those memories.

This is not one of those times.


Angela was one of my coworkers, and as I sit down to even attempt to describe her, I find it to be a task proving nearly impossible. With an infectious smile and laugh, you couldn’t be anywhere near Angela without smiling. We always knew when Angela was here, because the general feeling of the office was…different. Lighter. Happier. Easier. Her eyes had a genuine sparkle in them; a sparkle that danced when she spoke of her two sons. She was in love with motherhood and her children; it was a role that she fit into perfectly. She was there for every doctor’s appointment, field trip, Boy Scout meeting (which she was a Leader of). Angela was full of grace and radiated happiness and pride. Even when things were bad, she never let it affect how she treated people; even looking at her, you would never know that she was going through hard times that would make any other person want to throw in the towel.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

It’s Nearing That Time Again!

Last year I decided that I was going to stop being a Grinch during the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas and force myself to celebrate the season. The link to the post is here, and while the picture is gone because I didn’t like it, the gist of the idea is still the same; I hated the holiday season and was a grumpy, miserable mess. I was over the idea of present-quotas, frustrated at the idea of buying things just to buy them, and had just become very disgusted with the holidays in general.

While I’d made the decision to end the cycle of angry holidays before I’d heard of RACK’ing, watching my friends perform Random Acts of Kindness helped me achieve it. There truly is no greater joy than blessing someone else for no reason at all. Here are some posts to look back at:

There is still good…

RACKing it up

You’ve probably noticed the Christmas decorations out already; it seems earlier every year, and every year, I grumble when I see it; until this year. This year, I saw it, and it reminded me of the miraculous joy of last year. I challenge you, dear readers (if y’all are still listening, I know it’s been a long time!), to dedicate this holiday season to experiencing true joy. Not going through the motions, but making the season about giving to those whose needs go unspoken or unheard. It can be as little as not taking the closest parking space you can find, or helping someone load their groceries, or as much as contacting your local Department of Social Services and asking to sponsor a foster family for Christmas. Foster families have very little money as it is, and holidays are especially hard financially. Sponsoring a foster family’s Christmas is huge, and it’s a guaranteed win. The kids have often been through very bad situations, so you not only get to bless them, but you get to bless the foster parents by showing appreciation for the true change they are making by taking in children that aren’t theirs.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

The Marriage Retreat (and why I should never pack)

The Marriage Retreat this year was much different than last year in many good ways. Some of this is funny, some is poetic, and some is spiritual, because, well, that’s the point of the retreat.

I packed for the retreat the night before, and Hubbin has repeatedly asked me not to pack for him, so whatever, I didn’t. I packed most of what I could the night before, because I had to work the next day an hour in the opposite direction of the already 90 minute away location. I worked, got off a bit early, grabbed a few things from home, and set on my way.

Hubbin was already in The Middle of Nowhere, where the retreat was, so I met him (and our table group) at a restaurant close by. We ate and arrived at the retreat, which is a motel-type conference center that is about 50 miles past any civilization that you would be comfortable stopping at. No television, no cell service, just…y’all. It’s stunningly beautiful there, though, and they have this phenomenal Chef named Cody that makes THE BEST food ever.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

My Rachel

Me and Rachel

Me and Rachel

I’m still around, just haven’t been in a writing mode I guess. It’s funny, because once you actually announce change, you get hit from all angles with just…tests. And tested I have been. This week has been hard from many angles, but nothing I have experienced can come close to the biggest part of this week.

My dear friend had a very serious medical procedure for a horrific disease called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. It’s an incurable, excruciatingly painful disease.

It’s in her shoulder and arm (and her dominant one at that), and to add to it, she also has a torn rotator cuff, which cannot be repaired because of the damage from the RSD. And she’s working through all of this, too (and I don’t mean mentally, though that too, I mean she goes to work everyday). And I know she must get comments that are well-meaning but frustrating. It’s not like any other chronic pain disease; not by a long-shot. On the McGill Pain Index, pain is scaled. A bone fracture is a 17, non-terminal cancer is a 26. Chronic back pain is a 30. Unmedicated childbirth is a 37. The pain from RSD, which is constant and without end in sight, is a 42. The wind from a rolled-down window causes excruciating pain; so does her own clothes.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!


I finally finished the bible study for the book Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst (again, I’m not important enough to get paid to say things like that). To say that I changed during this study would be an understatement of huge proportions. I’m not sure when God changed me through it; there were a few aha moments during the study, but there isn’t a definitive moment where I can say “that changed me”.

And really, that’s how it works. Though, as a society, I believe we want stories with a clear moment where we awoke from our slumber. They are more interesting; more hopeful, perhaps. I’ve come to realize that lasting change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process; sometimes it’s slower than we want, but it’s a process nonetheless. I remembered thinking, as I was surrounded by these women, my friends, that I honestly couldn’t figure out why they were doing the study. They were so…together, while here I sat thinking “I hope they never know how much more I need this study than they do!” I’m a yeller of epic proportions; I always have been. I couldn’t even remember a time where I handled something stressful in an appropriate manner.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!