I need to sit down and write, because it’s cathartic for me. There are so many words, wrought with exhaustion of so many kinds, though, that the thought of sitting down at the computer makes me want to scream.
These last few weeks have been hard. Really hard, in various different ways. I think this season is hard anyway, though I refuse to let it overcome me anymore. It hasn’t been the season itself that’s been hard, but that it’s been wrought with so much death and loss this year, and the reminder of my grandfathers death, which happened a year ago yesterday.
And our server crashed at work, which, unless you’ve been through that, you really cannot fathom the stress surrounding it. The last two weeks have been completely tied up with what/how/why and thirty people wanting updates, and understandably so. It’s just been draining; there’s been no time for anything, let alone Christmas cards. And as odd as it sounds, one of the things that always keeps me sane is listening to Christian radio…but all they are playing now is Christmas music, which I can’t stand. I found out more bad news before leaving work yesterday and it was the last I could take. And so, sitting alone in traffic, I realized there was no better time like the present to just let it out. And I did.