Category: Random Stuff

Dec 30

The Baby

So this year was more emotional for me during Christmastime after I heard Andy Stanley say on a podcast that one of the reasons we know Jesus was real is because no man would create a story about God coming to Earth in the flesh as a baby. I’d heard that a few times, but it sunk in with significance this year, and I let myself feel the weight of it.

A baby. A helpless, vulnerable baby. Born in a manger, no less. Born as the least of these, to the least of these. 

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That story truly is no man’s creation. We know that by the movies we watch and the visual we get when we think of a King. More Goliath sized than David, for sure. Our Savior, the one we create, isn’t born to scared yet faithful parents, but instead comes in a fury. He appears to us from a storm, and he comes with a vengeance with no mercy. He is strong and powerful. He isn’t born in the dirt.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Dec 03

Where is God?

psalmThese are hard times, y’all. The violence is almost unbearable to watch. As I drove into work this morning on this blustery day, I thought about what I would say to those who don’t believe. Truth be told, even the devout have times where they struggle to reconcile the tragedy around them with the belief in a good and loving God.

As I watched the leaves blow, I thought about God. How I cannot see Him, but I can see the results of Him. Despite not being able to visually see wind, we know it is real because we can feel it. We can see the beauty it creates in its power; how it bends objects in its weight. We see how it changes the things it touches. We feel it on our face on a hot day, providing respite from the heat. We feel it in the winter, stinging our face, urging us to go inside. It exists. It is invisible yet undeniable; beautiful and healing; destructive and powerful.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Jul 10

Help

I read a post by a friend the other day, in which she stated her excitement for the opportunity to help a neighbor who was sick and asked for help getting her kids home from school. I know that feeling well – excitement that a friend is asking for something they need, because I am much better at following instructions than I am at anticipating needs. It actually made me think of Toni, a woman who, while serving in the infant room, took a particular interest in Grumpy Preschooler. I remember Toni saying several times that she’d love to watch her for us, and I remember only taking her up on it once. I also remember being so overwhelmed with a demanding special needs infant and a husband who worked 90 hours a week that there were days I just sat and cried because I felt like I was drowning. And now that I serve in cradle, I know I totally mean it when I say I would love to babysit, and I know Toni meant it as well.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

May 16

Scared

brave

I heard this quote listening to Jen Hatmaker‘s Willow Creek podcast from Mother’s Day, and I immediately thought of how scared I am as a parent. I think I’ve gotten better, I really do, but I have a long way to go.

This was never more apparent to me than

this past summer when my friend Jessica invited Jason and I out on the boat. I watched as her daughter, a year younger than Grumpy Toddler, was fearless with the water. FEARLESS, y’all, in the best way possible. She was FUN fearless. Jumped in, swam, played in the waves. In contrast, Charlotte clung to us in our laps, and I realized that she was the result of a mom who tried desperately to remove anything that could possibly cause her harm or sadness or discomfort. I had bubbled her right into boring.

When I think back to my life, and the moments that grew me, they really were just not all that fun. They were times I would have skipped if given the chance – if God had given me the foresight into the future. The babies I lost, the marriage that failed, the friendships that I walked away from, those horrible decisions I made. Like it or not, though, the bad grows us. And as I scrambled to block impending discomfort from my kids, I robbed them of their ability to be strong, determined women. Strong mothers. Dependable employees. I took away some of the experiences that would have forced them to learn to problem solve. In short, I decided to get their education FOR them so they wouldn’t have to – as if somehow that was a good thing.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

May 11

Kids Are Resilient.

This picture was taken the day we separated.

This picture was taken the day we separated.

They are, aren’t they? Kids can withstand so much; they’re just so resilient.

I hear this a lot when adults justify the decisions they make; I actually said it once to justify my own divorce. Kids are resilient; and she’s young! At five months old, she’ll never remember us together, so it’s not like she’ll miss having her mom and dad together. It will be her normal. 

Lots of rationalizations, there. In retrospect, it wasn’t actually important that I end my marriage sooner because it wouldn’t actually be better for her. It would actually be better for me.

It hurts just to type that, y’all. To admit it, right there in black and white. Sometimes transparency is for the birds. I convinced myself that The Oldest One would be better if mama was happy. You know what didn’t occur to me, though? Making the best of the situation. Maybe not making it obvious that we were unhappy. Perhaps acting like a grown up. You know what kids don’t do? Analyze their parents to see if their happiness is at an adequate level. Kids are naturally kind of narcissistic, and I don’t think they really care if their parents are happy because I don’t think they notice, unless there is abuse.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

May 04

Grumpy Prince Gets a Playmate – And More

I can only assume that Princess Kate has been reading my blog, so thank you so much for honoring my own Grumpy Toddler (real name Charlotte Elizabeth) with the Royal Baby. Prince George, I urge you to read up on Infant Sibling Disease from The Honest Toddler. He is wise.

I was on the #GreatKateWait for like…forever now, hoping to hear any name other than Charlotte, to no avail. I hope that Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana proves to you naysayers that hated the name Charlotte when I used it a whopping four years ago and thought it was old and outdated know that it is CLEARLY royalty-worthy and that I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG.

I also know, based on the text messages I’ve gotten, that a million of you zoomed over to see what I had to say about Princess Beautiful stealing my precious baby name – only to find nothing.

Womp Womp Womp

So, now, for the serious part. This is raw and difficult to write.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!