Category: Reflection Stuff

May 16

Scared

brave

I heard this quote listening to Jen Hatmaker‘s Willow Creek podcast from Mother’s Day, and I immediately thought of how scared I am as a parent. I think I’ve gotten better, I really do, but I have a long way to go.

This was never more apparent to me than

this past summer when my friend Jessica invited Jason and I out on the boat. I watched as her daughter, a year younger than Grumpy Toddler, was fearless with the water. FEARLESS, y’all, in the best way possible. She was FUN fearless. Jumped in, swam, played in the waves. In contrast, Charlotte clung to us in our laps, and I realized that she was the result of a mom who tried desperately to remove anything that could possibly cause her harm or sadness or discomfort. I had bubbled her right into boring.

When I think back to my life, and the moments that grew me, they really were just not all that fun. They were times I would have skipped if given the chance – if God had given me the foresight into the future. The babies I lost, the marriage that failed, the friendships that I walked away from, those horrible decisions I made. Like it or not, though, the bad grows us. And as I scrambled to block impending discomfort from my kids, I robbed them of their ability to be strong, determined women. Strong mothers. Dependable employees. I took away some of the experiences that would have forced them to learn to problem solve. In short, I decided to get their education FOR them so they wouldn’t have to – as if somehow that was a good thing.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

May 11

Kids Are Resilient.

This picture was taken the day we separated.

This picture was taken the day we separated.

They are, aren’t they? Kids can withstand so much; they’re just so resilient.

I hear this a lot when adults justify the decisions they make; I actually said it once to justify my own divorce. Kids are resilient; and she’s young! At five months old, she’ll never remember us together, so it’s not like she’ll miss having her mom and dad together. It will be her normal. 

Lots of rationalizations, there. In retrospect, it wasn’t actually important that I end my marriage sooner because it wouldn’t actually be better for her. It would actually be better for me.

It hurts just to type that, y’all. To admit it, right there in black and white. Sometimes transparency is for the birds. I convinced myself that The Oldest One would be better if mama was happy. You know what didn’t occur to me, though? Making the best of the situation. Maybe not making it obvious that we were unhappy. Perhaps acting like a grown up. You know what kids don’t do? Analyze their parents to see if their happiness is at an adequate level. Kids are naturally kind of narcissistic, and I don’t think they really care if their parents are happy because I don’t think they notice, unless there is abuse.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

May 04

Grumpy Prince Gets a Playmate – And More

I can only assume that Princess Kate has been reading my blog, so thank you so much for honoring my own Grumpy Toddler (real name Charlotte Elizabeth) with the Royal Baby. Prince George, I urge you to read up on Infant Sibling Disease from The Honest Toddler. He is wise.

I was on the #GreatKateWait for like…forever now, hoping to hear any name other than Charlotte, to no avail. I hope that Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana proves to you naysayers that hated the name Charlotte when I used it a whopping four years ago and thought it was old and outdated know that it is CLEARLY royalty-worthy and that I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG.

I also know, based on the text messages I’ve gotten, that a million of you zoomed over to see what I had to say about Princess Beautiful stealing my precious baby name – only to find nothing.

Womp Womp Womp

So, now, for the serious part. This is raw and difficult to write.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Feb 15

Reflection

Get your popcorn, y’all; it’s long and it’s taken me 3 months to finish it.

I haven’t thought about this in a long time, which is why it seemed odd when it kept coming back to me, replaying itself over and over in my mind. Something tells me to write about it, so here we go.

I started this blog in 2012. At first, it was going to be about home renovation, and then it just…morphed into parenting and cooking and whatever else was on my mind. Back then, I posted about parenting and fixing the house, and I had more viewers than I thought I would. I attempted to cultivate a persona of what I thought wanted to be read, and I wrote to that demographic. I posted things that weren’t very politically correct, but I didn’t care because it was funny and it made people laugh. And I love to make people laugh.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Dec 09

Putting Christ in Christmas

This keeps weighing on me and I finally have to say something. This phrase, the internet memes, the signs, the biting blogs – they make my heart sink, though likely not for the reasons you may think.

I don’t know about you, but Christ IS in our Christmas. He’s also in our Thanksgiving, our Easter, our Sundays, and every other day of the week. He’s in there because we put Him in there. You see, other people can’t put Christ in our Christmas. You can’t put Him in mine and I can’t put Him in yours. And you know how to ensure that He’s NOT in Christmas?

  • By yelling at people who say Happy Holidays (come on, people, it’s a pleasant greeting, accept that someone took time to wish you something nice and move on).
  • By posting nasty, judgmental memes (seriously, do you feel like that shows the love of Christianity?)
  • By acting trite.

If you want to put Christ back in Christmas, thank people for wishing you well. Donate your time to feeding, clothing, and housing the poor. Counsel those struggling with their faith. Bring a hot meal to someone in need. Read your Bible. Observe Advent. Read Matthew (or any of the rest of the Gospel. Or the New Testament. Or the prophesies in the OT.). Pray. Speak your true testimony to someone that needs to hear it. Forgive the people you haven’t forgiven yet. Extend mercy to the person who cut you off by not hanging out the window yelling. Love others that you deem unworthy of love. Call Social Services and ask if you can sponsor a foster family for Christmas. Examine your heart to see where it is hardened.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Aug 23

The 540s

In my Eucharisteo book,

546). Lazy Saturdays
547). Sounds of raindrops
548). Impromptu photo sessions
549). The way she looks at her
550). The sound of their laughs

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551). That smile

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552). Shadow puppets

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553). Pretending to be scared

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554). The way you can see that serious face through her hair

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555). Crazy, humid curls

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 556). The way The Oldest One’s whole body seems to smile.

 

Living the dream? Most certainly. Can it even get better?