Endurance

I saw this sign today, posted on Facebook; it says

“And so it was . . . that she, having waited long and endured patiently, realized and obtained what God had promised.”

I realized I’ve been really overwhelmed with this feeling lately. Once upon a time, I was a single mom that really was struggling to make it. Newly separated, and with a five-month-old depending on me, I realized that my path, my dreams, had somewhere gone terribly awry from what I had envisioned for myself. I never dreamed I’d be the poor single mother with no degree; or, more accurately, with half a degree. I’d put my schooling “on hold” (aka, couldn’t balance it) during my first marriage, and worked in the blossoming career as a delivery driver for Domino’s before working for my mother’s accounting firm when I was too pregnant to bring people their food. When my marriage dissolved, I found myself in a very different place than I’d ever anticipated, and I busted my butt and worked three jobs while commuting 3 hours a day, 3 days a week. And I kid you not, I never slept. I remember sitting and sobbing at times, hating that I was working and schooling so much that I was missing important things with my daughter. I remember my mother telling me to just focus on the finish line; that one day it would all be worth it. And then I graduated and my starting salary for my first job was SO much less than I thought it would be. All that work…what was it for? It seemed like that day would never come.

And then there is Charlotte; she didn’t come easily. It took a couple of pregnancies to get her, and at times I thought that dream got further away instead of closer. During one of those hard days, Hubbin comforted me and told me that if I didn’t want to give it another chance, I didn’t have to. And I seriously considered it.

A few weeks ago I was beginning our tax preparation, and I was thoroughly disgruntled at our tax burden. As I became increasingly frustrated, it hit me – I was focusing on the wrong number. As I looked at the bigger picture, I saw it; everything I had worked for. What I had thought was mere dreams at one point; I had accomplished it, and it was here in black and white.

And Charlotte, as she prepares to turn two, embodies the realization of another dream that I thought may never come to fruition. The realization that God provided what He had promised – that all I ever really needed was faith.

So, no charming wit in this blog post; just a sobering realization of gratitude, of faith, and of endurance.

Much love, peoples.

1 comment

  1. Kristin, what a beautiful post! I remember when times weren’t so great for you. But I also remember your spirit during that time. You were never a whiner, and you sucked it up and dealt with it. You figured out what you are made of and you never gave up. I’ve learned in my own life that we should always be grateful for the tough times, because that is when we grow, learn our lessons, and figure out who we truly are.

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