Category: Reflection Stuff

Sep 08

This Life

Marriage.

Hubbin and I have been together for almost eleven years now. That seems so crazy; I feel myself torn between thinking about how long that sounds, and trying to remember a time without this man. I cannot, and that makes me smile.

I know there’s a lot of jokes about marriage and it being a trap, or how the wedding day is the best day of your life, but I feel like that could not be further from the truth. There are hard times, absolutely; it’s hard to live forever with any one person. Anything worth having takes work.

I was happy on our wedding day, but I would say that today, I am happier. The couple in this photograph have no idea what is in store for them.

weddingThey have no idea that they will face things that take so many marriages down. They don’t know that they’ll mourn the loss of a baby together, and in different ways that will seem to pull them apart. They’ll go through job changes and career changes, and she’ll lose herself for a period of time, but he’ll have faith that she’ll be back one day. They know they’ll probably have a child together, but they don’t know that they’ll have a Charlotte. He doesn’t know she’ll find Jesus, and she doesn’t know that he’ll teach her who He is by the way he loves her.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Aug 30

The Top Five Lessons I Learned From A Dead Plant

Today’s blog post is by my dear friend Brooke – I know you’ll be as moved by it as I was. 

I was just starting my first day of work and my boss was giving me a bit of a tour.  She pointed and said, “Well, here’s your new office.  As you can see, we have the usual: Desk, computer, printer, phone.    Also, there’s a dead plant over there in the corner.  You can go ahead and throw that away.”

Little did I know that twelve years later I would be sitting here thinking about all the lessons that dead plant has taught me.  As it turns out, it wasn’t dead.  It just required a little love and attention; and just a little bit of faith.

At first I was clueless about what to do with it.   I had never had a plant; or for that matter, been responsible for any living thing.  I was only in charge of taking care of myself and quite frankly, I wasn’t doing a great job of that either.  But, I figured in its current state, the bar had been set pretty low.  How much damage could I possibly do?

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Mar 14

I am sure.

Last summer, God spoke to me. It wasn’t really an answer so much as it was three simple words. Not even an actual sentence, although each word was a verb. “Love, learn, lead.” Those were the three words He dropped into my heart at a women’s Bible study I was part of. I wish I could say that when I heard them, or more accurately, felt them, I dropped what I was doing, ran to the coordinator and told her that I would lead the group. But I didn’t. I ruminated on them for the hour and a half of the gathering. I barely heard the teaching, but I was in the middle of a lesson. And Jesus was my teacher.

At the end of the gathering, I got up, palms sweating, went over to my friend who was leading the study and said, “God told me I have to lead something. I will start with a small group for this study.” She looked at me and sort of tilted her head and with kindness in her eyes said, “Are you sure?”

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Mar 06

Andy’s Fight

She wasn’t there the day my oldest daughter was born. In fact, I didn’t know she existed. And when I held that sweet baby in my arms, I prayed for the future. I can’t remember my prayer, because I didn’t know Jesus then, but I know that I didn’t pray for her.

I met her at a McDonald’s one cold day after work, four years later. She was so nice, and she was different than I had pictured her. She was calm, and her words were deliberate. She was an open book to a nervous mom, and I left that meeting with a peace I hadn’t had in a long time. I liked her from that first day, but I had no idea the role she would play in my life.

Over the next few years, I would realize how impossibly different we were. She is calm and rational, organized and deliberate, quiet but fierce. In fact, we may have only one thing in common – an incredible love for that blonde haired, blue eyed girl. While mine may be biological, I cannot recall a single time where I doubted that the love she felt for that child was less than the love I felt.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Feb 28

1,000 Days

Anyone that is friends with me on Facebook undoubtedly saw the outpouring of celebration yesterday by my friends, who congratulated me and showered me with gifts and love in celebration of my 1000 days of sobriety.

For those of you that don’t know my story, or weren’t aware of that portion of my story, I wanted to give a narrative that maybe answers some questions you have. So what does that mean? What did life look like 1005 days ago? Do you go to meetings? Do you get a chip?

The answer is no, because I have never gone to meetings. I do have a group of friends that I lean on when I know that the circumstances in front of me start looking like they used to when I did what I always did – find my way back to self-destruction, through which ever path I could get to faster. Sobriety didn’t begin with rehab and meetings, and pre-sobriety did not look like the picture many people have in their head when they think of sobriety or recovery.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Feb 01

Charlotte is 5

I love this sweet baby. From the moment she was born, she took the internet by storm. Her sweet, yet skeptical spirit has made her a force to be reckoned with. Today, she is 5 years old. Somewhere, in all my wondering if these kids were ever going to start growing up quickly, they started doing just that. I’ve included some of my very favorite pictures of her; ones that capture her spirit and her love. Charlotte is a one and only; frustratingly stubborn, impossibly empathetic, and charming and witty. It may take a while for her to warm up to you, but once she has you, her love is fierce and unwavering.

I cannot even tell you how grateful we are that she grew into that nose.