Tag Archive: parenting

May 16

Scared

brave

I heard this quote listening to Jen Hatmaker‘s Willow Creek podcast from Mother’s Day, and I immediately thought of how scared I am as a parent. I think I’ve gotten better, I really do, but I have a long way to go.

This was never more apparent to me than

this past summer when my friend Jessica invited Jason and I out on the boat. I watched as her daughter, a year younger than Grumpy Toddler, was fearless with the water. FEARLESS, y’all, in the best way possible. She was FUN fearless. Jumped in, swam, played in the waves. In contrast, Charlotte clung to us in our laps, and I realized that she was the result of a mom who tried desperately to remove anything that could possibly cause her harm or sadness or discomfort. I had bubbled her right into boring.

When I think back to my life, and the moments that grew me, they really were just not all that fun. They were times I would have skipped if given the chance – if God had given me the foresight into the future. The babies I lost, the marriage that failed, the friendships that I walked away from, those horrible decisions I made. Like it or not, though, the bad grows us. And as I scrambled to block impending discomfort from my kids, I robbed them of their ability to be strong, determined women. Strong mothers. Dependable employees. I took away some of the experiences that would have forced them to learn to problem solve. In short, I decided to get their education FOR them so they wouldn’t have to – as if somehow that was a good thing.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

May 11

Kids Are Resilient.

This picture was taken the day we separated.

This picture was taken the day we separated.

They are, aren’t they? Kids can withstand so much; they’re just so resilient.

I hear this a lot when adults justify the decisions they make; I actually said it once to justify my own divorce. Kids are resilient; and she’s young! At five months old, she’ll never remember us together, so it’s not like she’ll miss having her mom and dad together. It will be her normal. 

Lots of rationalizations, there. In retrospect, it wasn’t actually important that I end my marriage sooner because it wouldn’t actually be better for her. It would actually be better for me.

It hurts just to type that, y’all. To admit it, right there in black and white. Sometimes transparency is for the birds. I convinced myself that The Oldest One would be better if mama was happy. You know what didn’t occur to me, though? Making the best of the situation. Maybe not making it obvious that we were unhappy. Perhaps acting like a grown up. You know what kids don’t do? Analyze their parents to see if their happiness is at an adequate level. Kids are naturally kind of narcissistic, and I don’t think they really care if their parents are happy because I don’t think they notice, unless there is abuse.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

May 08

Fifth Grade Graduation

Lord, y’all, this is going to be a doozy for me. The Oldest One brought home a formal invitation for her 5th grade graduation. In very fancy writing, it says:

With great happiness, we,
the Fifth Grade Class of (I ain’t dumb enough to list her school y’all),
invite you to join us on
Graduation Day
Friday, the twenty-second of May,
two thousand and fifteen
at nine o’clock in the morning. 

Appropriate attire is encouraged.*

*For those of you that aren’t in the South, that means leave your wife beaters and camo at home.

Let’s talk about these snowflakes, ok? I love my child. She is brilliant (typical straight A’s) and I am proud of her for pulling her C up after I asked her if she liked fifth grade so much she wanted to do it all over again. I think she is sweet as pie and the cats pajamas and all those things. I love being her mother.

But folks, graduating fifth grade is REQUIRED BY LAW. Why are we acting as though passing a grade is something worthy of pomp and circumstance? It is not. I appreciate you brushing your teeth every day, but I am not holding a ceremony over that either. If she does not go on from fifth grade, they will jail me. School is compulsory. SO IS MY WORK, AND I’M NOT USING VACATION TIME FOR THIS.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Aug 23

The 540s

In my Eucharisteo book,

546). Lazy Saturdays
547). Sounds of raindrops
548). Impromptu photo sessions
549). The way she looks at her
550). The sound of their laughs

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551). That smile

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552). Shadow puppets

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553). Pretending to be scared

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554). The way you can see that serious face through her hair

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555). Crazy, humid curls

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 556). The way The Oldest One’s whole body seems to smile.

 

Living the dream? Most certainly. Can it even get better?

Aug 22

And now, a bathroom break (or a break FROM the bathroom)

Hubbin chose our vacation spot this year and I have to completely give it to him, he did phenomenal job. Browsing flipkey.com, he showed me a listing and asked if he was reading it right.

Listed was a “Castle in the Sky“, high in the Smoky Mountains, and located in Sylva, NC. Built on 75 wooded acres, it had exactly what I wanted…a pool. And not any pool — a private pool. No yelling kids aside from my own, a pool that overlooked what appeared to be paradise? And affordable. And available.

So he booked it for the

second week of August. With 3600 square feet and comprised of five bedrooms and as many bathrooms, we asked Jason’s best childhood friend and his family to join us, and they accepted much to our delight.

The drive down was pretty uneventful. We pulled over at an overlook and I offered to take a picture of a family for them, and they happily accepted and returned the offer. So, we posed, our little family of four, and it wasn’t until I got back to the car that I saw this picture and just…laughed. Grumpy Toddler strikes again. That poor woman was just trying to do a good deed and take our family picture, and Grumpy Toddler looked at her like she wanted to burn down her house.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Aug 18

I hate this bathroom.

burn-it-down

I wish

Ok, so we stayed on vacation an extra day because the contractor let us know that the bathroom wouldn’t be done in time. This was expected for a few reasons, one being that the “little bathroom renovation” turned into like…rebuilding a house. The floors were saturated in “things that had leaked” which is what I will term it because just trust me. The walls behind the shower surround were crumbling and covered in black mold. It had to be completely rebuilt. In fact, it was in such bad shape that it was almost a downstairs bathroom.

We had a great trip back, to be honest, especially considering we had Grumpy Toddler in the car. It’s amazing what two iPads, a dual screen DVD player with 12 DVDs to choose from, books, crayons, a big sister, barbies, baby dolls, and a Daddy that will sit like a pretzel just to hold a toddler’s hand will do. Whatever, it worked and I should probably be ashamed but I am not because we all got back alive and really, that’s my job as their mom.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

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