Category: Random Stuff

Jul 08

Whirling Dervish

Ok so I haven’t been posting a ton because I have been busy doing nothing and enjoying every minute of it. Since my boss understands that the biggest return on investment you can possibly get in your company is to spoil the crap out of your employees, he gave us an impromptu paid vacation and closed the office from Wednesday through Sunday.

So, I put The Little Jerk in daycare and spent the week with my oldest kid, who is really awesome and fun to hang out with. Then, I invited myself and kids as well as a coworker and her kids over to my cleaning lady’s house, because she has a sweet in-ground pool. Loved it.

This one is way nicer than the little one.

So I’m astounded at the hits on this blog. It really is just insane, and completely unexpected. What happens is that I sit to make a blog post and see that there are 18k hits in a little over a month and panic and erase what I wrote because it’s totally not funny enough.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Jun 29

Becoming a Lady?

Ok, so for most of my life, my style has been somewhere between “that’s a nice skirt” and the uncomfortable “um…is that shirt missing buttons?” But now that I’ve pretty much remade my whole house, I’m bored.

After spending hours drooling over the classic styles featured on KateSpadeGirl (go look, it’s an awesome blog!), I decided that it was time to redo my style; maybe more lady, less tramp. And funny enough? It’s working! I got a ton of compliments the other day when I wore my new favorite dress. So, I bottled up all my confidence, and wore a super cute outfit to a work function that consisted of navy H&M shorts, an adorable kelly green satin ruffled shirt from NY&CO, and a navy cardigan. Adorable. I loved it.

The point of this story is to tell you that even if you dress a girl in an adorable outfit, it doesn’t stop there. You also have to teach her how to sit.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Jun 25

I’m Still Alive…

Though with no thanks to the Newark Airport and their TSA agents that were obviously trying to drive me into the nuthouse.

While I try and compose myself and finish these TSA dartboards and kicking the wall, here’s something to tide you over. I was so pissed off, blindly ragingly angry Friday night that I actually posted this horrible picture of me in Facebook for all the world to see:

This face is probably what got me two trips through TSA.

…as well as me writing “GFY, Newark!” As a Facebook update. And no, that does NOT stand for Good For You. Never, ever fly through Newark.

 

Jun 20

I hope y’all can add…

I had to add math CAPTCHA against my will because the spam bots were commenting constantly. I’d get all excited thinking someone was reading this thing, only to be crestfallen when I realized it was spam.

And then I got angry that the stupid bots were taking over. And then I realized that while I am totally pissed that the British have invaded, I guess maybe it’s cool that they found this place in the first place, right?

So I hope y’all can add. You’ll know that I can if this post actually goes through.

 

Jun 15

My Duckface

My duckface…it’s inside out!

 

I have a history of doing stuff the exact wrong way. This is just one of many examples!

That’s all. Enjoy your weekends, people!! I am testing two new cupcake recipes this weekend, so wish me luck!

 

Jun 08

Statute of Limitations

 

So I’m laid out in the couch because I have the sacroiliac joints of a 90 year old woman. And my iPad is dying! And my charger is upstairs. So I ask Hubbin if he will go get it as he’s making The Little Jerk dinner.

Hubbin: ok, where is it?

Me: upstairs (insert pleeeeeeeeeasse face)

Hubbin: (dramatic eye roll) Seriously?!

Me: I gave birth to your child!!!

Hubbin: No, she’s 16 months old now, you’re past the Statute of Limitations on that. You can’t use that anymore.

So what’s the consensus here? How long do I get to use it? I saw the SoL never runs out for childbirth or anything else that requires the simultaneous use of a vagina AND uterus. Anyone agree?