Jun 25

I’m Still Alive…

Though with no thanks to the Newark Airport and their TSA agents that were obviously trying to drive me into the nuthouse.

While I try and compose myself and finish these TSA dartboards and kicking the wall, here’s something to tide you over. I was so pissed off, blindly ragingly angry Friday night that I actually posted this horrible picture of me in Facebook for all the world to see:

This face is probably what got me two trips through TSA.

…as well as me writing “GFY, Newark!” As a Facebook update. And no, that does NOT stand for Good For You. Never, ever fly through Newark.

 

Jun 20

I hope y’all can add…

I had to add math CAPTCHA against my will because the spam bots were commenting constantly. I’d get all excited thinking someone was reading this thing, only to be crestfallen when I realized it was spam.

And then I got angry that the stupid bots were taking over. And then I realized that while I am totally pissed that the British have invaded, I guess maybe it’s cool that they found this place in the first place, right?

So I hope y’all can add. You’ll know that I can if this post actually goes through.

 

Jun 15

My Duckface

My duckface…it’s inside out!

 

I have a history of doing stuff the exact wrong way. This is just one of many examples!

That’s all. Enjoy your weekends, people!! I am testing two new cupcake recipes this weekend, so wish me luck!

 

Jun 12

Chair Makeover

Ok, so I had posted the living room after photo, and as you’ll see, in the very left corner is the baby seat on top of a fug chair.

I have two of them because they go with my in-laws dining set picnic table, but since I don’t cook, we don’t have a table.  So they sit around.  One lovingly held up my printer in my office, but I finally got a real stand, so it’s just been hanging out in there too.  They are ug-guh-lee.

 

Damn girl, that’s an ugly chair!

Here it is, taunting me:

Stupid Chair

 

So I’ve been trying to figure out what to do.  I need to recover it, obviously, but I am SO FREAKING TIRED of looking for fabric.  And I was laying in bed last night feeling so sorry for myself that I had to look for more fabric when it occurred to me that I COULD just use the leftover fabric from the cornice/pelmet box things.  Duh.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Jun 10

Come See My Boobies, y’all.

I have been in love with these boobies since the moment they first came into my life. They are perfect. They are captivating and charming, without being overly dramatic. They’re really all you could ever want in two boobies. Wanna see them?

 

 

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We have an art gallery at work, and this artist showed her work. She is MY FAVORITE. It’s charming and funny. The swirls are random thoughts, and include phrases like “We’re just a couple of blue footed boobies fooling around. There was almost only one but I thought that a pair of nice boobies was better than one all by iteself. I think most people would agree. Anyway it’s sad to dance all alone.” and stuff like that.

I fell in love in a way that I never have with any piece of art ever in my life. I was instantly hooked, but it being $300 and me being broke, I did what any girl would do; pouted hoping my boss would buy it.

That isn’t it, y’all. You have to click here to read the rest!

Jun 08

Statute of Limitations

 

So I’m laid out in the couch because I have the sacroiliac joints of a 90 year old woman. And my iPad is dying! And my charger is upstairs. So I ask Hubbin if he will go get it as he’s making The Little Jerk dinner.

Hubbin: ok, where is it?

Me: upstairs (insert pleeeeeeeeeasse face)

Hubbin: (dramatic eye roll) Seriously?!

Me: I gave birth to your child!!!

Hubbin: No, she’s 16 months old now, you’re past the Statute of Limitations on that. You can’t use that anymore.

So what’s the consensus here? How long do I get to use it? I saw the SoL never runs out for childbirth or anything else that requires the simultaneous use of a vagina AND uterus. Anyone agree?